Monday the 29th October was an auspicious day for all aficionados of the sport/high art form of Town Bike Racing*. The course, as set up by statute, was castle hill. The event officials were, at the start: a traffic light, and at the finish Seb Dickson, who was also chief commissaire by virtue of being the more human of the two (not by much).
The nature of the start requires good gridding technique, with only a short neutralised section of about 20m from the Pick to the lights. Men’s Captain Brown secured pole, obviously fancying himself (but that has nothing to do with the town bike race).
Start: A few fluffed starts from the less experienced, those who can track stand getting a mighty benefit. Poor quality of bicycles apparent in the squeaky whiny sounds.
+30s: Like a mass of outsize bats, with gowns fluttering in the wind the pack charges past the gallery and onto the hill proper.
+45s: Jack Kellam’s bike eats his gown. Race over for him. Squeaky whiny sound get louder.
Finish: Charging up towards the finish line booth/ bus stop comes Ben A Ferris (33) with clear air between him and the others, and is not just ahead but is also going the fastest.** Squeaky whiny sound continues.
Finish plus a fair bit: Squeaky whiny sound turns out to be Mens Captain Jack complaining about his bike not working or some other excuse. A strong flat last place for him, obviously didn’t want to embarrass anyone.
*There are of course 2 definitions approved by the Council of Town Bike Racing, the first one being if someone offers you £70 for your bike, you must accept it; the other one being a bike you’d happily leave outside the train station locked badly to a sign.
**Edwin Hubble’s redshift theory was first applied to the town bike race in Chicago, but it is actually fallacical to assume the first will be going fastest at the end, it is much more useful to go fastest at the beginning. Luckily he realised he could also apply it much more successfully to nebulae or something and now has a space telescope